You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
