it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
