I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
