Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
We need to feng shui this bitch.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
