small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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