she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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