Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
why is half of my head shaved?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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