Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
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