Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
