Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
