For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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