i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
