very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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