You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
