STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
