I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
