he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
