I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
