Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
