dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
my being single is dangerous.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
