i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
