Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
