No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
