i don't plan on having that self control this summer
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize