boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
