You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
