so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
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