I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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