i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
