No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
