I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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