Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I currently don't understand fingers.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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