I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
