woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
