sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
