20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
