I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Randomize
