My Higher Power is John Stamos
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
