And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
