He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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