You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
don't judge my taste in strippers
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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