soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
