So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
