in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
