So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Just high enough for therapy.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
