its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
