Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize