Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
