do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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