We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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