Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
