He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
