i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize