you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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