Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(716): View more from New York

On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar

(1-716): View more from New York

I think you broke the trashy scale

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone

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(410): View more from Maryland

Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.

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(802): View more from Vermont

Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger

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