yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
