Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
