So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize